Three Lies That Kill Recovery

Substance use disorders are filled with denial, rationalizations, minimizations, and justifications. These are employed to reduce shame, suspiciousness, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. The addict tells lies or minimizes to maintain and perpetuate the addiction.

The First Lie: I don’t need to change.

Confrontations or suggestions that someone needs help, are frequently met with resistance and denial. Gently, but firmly remind the substance user of negative consequences. Some people in the throes of their substance use are far too willing to sacrifice the relationship with you in order to protect the addiction. Slowly, over time, many people begin to soften and admit that they may have a problem. This is good news but it can be the entrance into the second lie.

The Second Lie: I need to change, but I can do it on my own.

The second lie only gives the illusion of admission. It’s like saying “I have cancer, but I don’t need treatment.” This lie uses minimization which underestimates the problem and overestimates one’s ability to solve it.

• First - You have a blind spot.

• Second - Mental health problems complicate the issue.

• Third - The physiological damage and psychological pressures impair your judgment and your ability to make the necessary changes.

Addiction is a disease filled with minimization and rationalization. "I don’t have much of a problem-so obviously I’m not going to need much treatment." You know you have a problem; you are starting to see that you can’t take care of it by yourself. You move to the third lie.

The Third Lie: I can’t do it on my own, but I can do it later.

Stalling with intentions to do it later can kill your recovery. “I need help, but the timing isn’t quite right.” This is the "yes, but" form of resistance to treatment. Addiction is filled with clever manipulations, stall tactics, deflection, counter attack, and blame-shifting. Treatment might extend your life by ten years-probably more. Treatment might increase the quality of your life by 1000 percent-probably more. "Yes, but…I can’t leave my kids! "

Next time we will look at the "truths" needed to help create effective recovery.

Recovery is a journey. Enjoy the ride.

Dr. Hal Baumchen